What happened at work last night (in English).

I skipped my freaking religion class yesterday; I’ve missed it about ten times, no exaggeration (but Katie’s still missed it more, so it’s okay).  I swear, the entire class and the teacher all hate us, and I’m almost positive I am going to fail.

I thought I’d translate that last entry, and add a bit more detail.

I walked into work last Tuesday and there was a new guy, and I knew the moment I laid eyes on him that he was going to be bad news.  It was the way he was looking at me—staring, with this goofy, euphoric grin.  He approached me, introduced himself as Paul, and shook my hand for a really long time.  He might still be shaking my hand if I hadn’t pulled it away from him.  Just…right away he was creepy, and I predicted exactly what would happen—that he’d ask me out for a drink.

Sure enough, five minutes into the conversation, after a lot of pointless questions from him, he asks, “Do you drink?”  “No.”  “Do you want to get a drink with me sometime this weekend?”  “I have a boyfriend.  Sorry.”

So then it was all questions about my boyfriend, whom I met in high school, have been with for three and a half years, and occasionally travel with to Orlando or St. Augustine for the weekend, just for the heck of it.

Then it was all, “So, do you have any girlfriends that you could hook me up with?  Could you find me a girlfriend?” to which I gave the same response every time:  “I’ll see what I can do.”  Not a yes, not a no, just very vague.

And he kept coming up to me, putting his arm around my waist, but not long enough to say, “Get the hell off you CREEP”—just for a second here and there.

Naturally, I made sure everybody knew right away, and everybody had their say with him, including Dann, but not until after he had made a joke the next day about him putting me next to him in the hot tub, where he would serve and I would just sweat—meaning behind the line.  I wasn’t entirely certain that’s what he’d said, because he’s Filipino and has an accent, but Big Steve informed me later on that Paul had approached him and said, “Listen to what I said to Ginny” as though he thought Big Steve would find it funny (he didn’t; he told Paul he didn’t need to be joking around that way with someone half his age).

Anyway, after Dann spoke to him (and he assured Dann that it was merely a misunderstanding—right), he went up to the dishwashers and told them that he had been joking around with me, I’d gotten offended, and that he just wasn’t going to speak to me anymore if I was going to be like that.  Well…good.  Haha.  So we hardly speak at all, unless somebody else is involved in the conversation, or if it’s absolutely necessary.

And that’s about it for now; class and work, class and work, the usual.  Just thought I’d go and clarify what was going on for those of you who didn’t feel like reading that entire pirate entry there.

Speaking of pirates, you know why pirates say “ARR” so much?

It’s because their shipmates are always going around saying things like, “The cannons be ready, Captain!”


Avast Ye!

Yarr, been a while since I updated, me hearties.  I’ve been up tae the usual:  Pillagin’ an’ plunderin’, drinkin’ me grog when I gets the chance, causin’ general mayhem o’ all sorts.

We be havin’ a newcomer at t’ workplace–arrr, an’ a scurvy lubber he be, at that.  I knowed he was trouble the moment I laid me eyes on him, an’ I was right, o’ course.  He had a creepy look in ‘is eyes, mateys, creepy.  ‘Twasn’t five minutes intae our conversation he asked me tae drink grog wit’ him over t’ weekend, yarr.  But the rest of me good sea dogs be havin’ me back, they be.  Cap’n Dann be havin’ a chat wit’ him abou’ consortin’ wit’ the workers–particularly the younger ones, yarr–an’ Bosun Big Steve, he be tellin’ him a thing or two abou’ heavin’ tae the younger lasses.  Black Bob o’ t’Kitchens be checkin’ in wit’ tae Cap’n if’n he be witnessin’ anythin’ strange, as is First Mate Jasper, yarr.  An’ Maggie, Maid o’ t’Mediterranean, she be tellin’ the scurvy cur all abou’ his ass, she be.

It be good tae have a loyal crew, it be.  Heave to an’ prepare tae be boarded, Scurvy Cur!  We be keelhaulin’ ye wit’in an inch o’ yer life, if’n yehs don’ watch yerself.  Ye be seein’ yer way tae Davy Jones’s Locker, so avast now, ye scurvy dog o’ t’ sea!

Playing With Lightsabers

Tonight at work, Jasper finally brought in his Force FX lightsaber that he got for half off.  (Now this is interesting—earlier, while writing in Word, I discovered that it automatically capitalizes the word “Mudblood”—but it doesn’t recognize the word “lightsaber”.  Weird.)  We turned out the lights and were playing with it (this sounds so dirty…*sigh*).  It was most awesome.  It was Anakin’s lightsaber, so it was blue and so pretty.  I was describing to Cortney how it lights up gradually, like it’s actually igniting, and she said, “That’d be really cool if it had sound effects, too.”  And I pointed out that it does.

“It makes a sound when you swing it,” I said.   “Well—no, it’s always humming, but when you swing it around, it purrs.” I just liked that line and found it funny after I thought about it, so I had to make note of it here.

Speaking of work, I have more stories again.

First of all (and this is mainly for Tinny, because you’ll find it as shocking as all the rest of us did), Jackie was fired.  (That’s not the shocking part.)  The shocking part of that is that she allegedly bitched at Caroline, who then shoved her against the wall…!?  So then Jackie threatened Scot in some way, and threatened to send in the cops to arrest Caroline…and she was fired.  Caroline…little old friendly grandmother Caroline…none of us could picture it.

This, also, will mainly amuse Tinny.  There’s this new guy who washes dishes—Eric—and we were trying to remember his name tonight, and I said, “Bob, it took you almost a whole year to learn Teshura’s name.”  (I never call you Tinny around him, because I don’t want to confuse him.)

He got this huge, sheepish grin on his face and said, “Why do you say that?”

I said, “You never said her name—it was always, ‘Hey, Ginny—and you, too!’ or, ‘Hey, Ginny, you and your friend come over here and do this,’ or…” and here he interrupted.  His face was rather red, and he still had the sheepish grin on his face, and he said, “You guys noticed that?”

“Yeah, Bob, we noticed…we were always joking about it.”  I laughed.

“Yeah, I’m bad with names,” he said.  “Hers was a hard one—I didn’t get it until right before she left, even!”

“Oh, trust me…we noticed,” I said, still laughing.

I love the philosophical conversations/arguments we have at work sometimes, too.  Like, tonight, for example:  We were cleaning up after everything, and Steve said, “Sometimes I wish I was Samantha from Bewitched; then I could just wiggle my nose and everything would be clean already.”

I said, “Or Jeannie from I Dream of Jeannie; then you could just bonk your head, and it’d be done.”

So then we started trying to name all the fictional characters we could think of who could get the cafeteria cleaned faster than we could.  Among them were:  Yoda, Darth Vader, Superman, the Genie (from Aladdin), Tinker Bell, Mary Poppins, Elliot (Pete’s dragon), Harry Potter (well, really Hermione, but I didn’t know if Steve would know who that was), Ursula (from The Little Mermaid)…and…oh, I feel like there are lots more I’m forgetting….

But the point was, Steve trumped us all by saying, “No one beats this:  Mickey Mouse when he’s the little magician guy.”

We all oohed and ahhed, but then I pointed out that he didn’t really get anything cleaned faster; he just had help.  And besides that, the “help” took it way overboard and just got him in deep shit.

Just a brief amusing story:  Yesterday at school, I was in the library writing for about an hour and a half before stepping out into the dazzling sunshine.  So I was all in that mindset of turning all of my thoughts and actions into 3rd person.

I went digging in my purse for my sunglasses, but instead of thinking, Where are my sunglasses?, my actual thought process was, Where were her sunglasses?  I just…think that’s funny.  Haha.

And it’s late and I’m tired now, so I’m just going to post this for now.

Maggie Stories

And now for something completely different.

Well, okay, not really—all my entries do tend to be centered around the same things.  I just wanted to say it.

At work last night, Maggie just…well, she went way up in my book.  Not that she wasn’t already up there to begin with (Maggie is really cool), but she just gained some extra points by telling me about things she did in high school.  She was especially adept in her math and science classes, and their science teacher taught them how to assemble and disassemble entire automobiles within 72 hours.  So one day, they disassembled a ’69 VW Bug, carried the pieces up to the roof (the football players helped them with this), put it back together, and started the ignition.  They all got A’s in that class.

Another time, another year, another science class, their teacher taught them to create bombs, and in response, they blew the wall out of the gymnasium.  They got A’s in that class, too.

I just said, “Maggie—that is so coolMan!  I want to go back to high school now!”  And I high-fived her.

Tinny, I thought you would appreciate these stories.

Well, Cortney’s about to come over so we can go to Publix—so I’m going to end this here, and I’ll write about the Will Ferrell dream a bit later.  (What’s with these random actors doing cameos in my dreams!?)

Workplace Drama

Before I begin, a bit about the people I work with (the ones who come into the story):  There’s Bob, one of the chefs, one of the shortest people employed at the café, and basically my supervisor (which is weird, because Bob isn’t even technically a supervisor…I just work his line).  And then Maggie is one of the other chefs who doesn’t exactly have her own line at the moment, because during the summer they’ve only got the one open.  But all of them still cook.  Maggie’s sort of…scary.  I mean, she’s cool…just don’t get on her bad side.  I once said, many entries ago, that she was manlier than any of the men, except for perhaps Steve (another chef).

Tonight at work, I was telling Bob (who really is quite short) that my friend Katie and I are planning to take fencing lessons (which we are).  He thought it sounded like fun and told me to keep him posted.  Then I added, “And we’ll be able to get in shape, too!”

Bob said sarcastically, “Yeah…like you need it!” and walked back in the kitchen to tell Maggie what I’d just said.

Well, I’m not precisely sure what happened…but I heard yelling.  And then Bob appeared at the doorway and said, “Come on, Ginny, tell her—tell her what you said!”

I walked back into the kitchen to see what exactly was going on.  From what I could figure out, Bob had told Maggie I’d said I was going to fence to get in shape (like I needed it), but Maggie had misunderstood and somehow gotten the idea that Bob had told her she needed to get in shape.

Or maybe Bob really did go back there and say something to the effect of, “Hey, Maggie, you should fence with Ginny so you can get in shape!”  I really don’t know.  (And for the record—thin and in shape are completely different things.)

Whatever happened, it pissed Maggie off.  So they were squabbling, and Bob said, “Go on, Ginny, tell her what you said!”

I said, “Uh, Bob?  She’s got a knife.”  This seemed to go unnoticed by either of them, as they were interested only in bickering with each other.

“Ginny?  Tell her.  Tell her what you said!”

“Bob…she’s got a really big knife.”  Again…nobody was paying attention.

A few more squabble-volleys back and forth as I tried to figure out what exactly was going on, and I finally said loudly, “What I said was that I was going to take fencing lessons, and that maybe it will help me to get in shape.”

Bob looked at Maggie triumphantly and said, “You see?  That’s all I said!”

They were both in that mode where you’re really pissed, but because there are other people around and you’re in a professional environment, you have to attempt to hide it (but it’s still so obvious).

Well, Bob told Maggie she had a big mouth (at which point, Maggie picked up the really big knife—I think it was a butcher knife) and said, “Say that again.”

Bob said, “You do!  You’ve got a big mouth.”

“Say it again, you f—ing Keebler elf!” Maggie said, stepping closer.

At this point, I burst out laughing, partly because the entire situation was so completely ridiculous, but mostly because it really reminded me of the Big Nose scene from the beginning of Life of Brian.

Just wanted to share that anecdote from the evening.

Chilling in the Library

It’s now been over a week since I last updated.  What kind of stuff did I used to talk about back then, when I updated daily, or–frequently–two or three times daily?

I used to talk about my daily activities, but that was before they all turned into the same thing.  I dislike having the same classes every day.  It makes each day blend into the next until I don’t know what’s what anymore.  And then I used to talk about dreams, but I haven’t really dreamt in a while….  Hm.  The dreams need to come back.  I miss them!

I’m very glad to see that work is going back to normal.  Sure, goofing off and playing cards every day was fun, but I like having crowds!  I like being able to see and talk to people, hooray!  (Of course, I still am really not looking forward to the 1200+ people a night we’ll be having in July, but…that’s only for a week, I hope, unless something changes, and as Maggie pointed out, I can still do only one plate at a time.

Psychobrat is insisting that the computer is having even more problems now than it did before my uncle looked at it, but…she’s always insisting it’s got more serious problems than it does, and then blaming them on everyone else, like me.  Twice yesterday I got on right after her, when she complained about it taking her three hours to check her mail (both times), and…I had no trouble.  At all.  Tell me, how does that denote that it is my problem?  I think it proves what I’ve been saying all along…that she’s an idiot and is obviously doing something wrong.

I got a message from Dennis complaining that I got contacts.  ‘Twas only a matter of time, of course–he was trying to talk me out of them before the semester ended.

*desperately trying to think of anything else new…*

Okay, well…I’ll update again…um…soon.  *looks away, whistling*  All right, you try making summer sound interesting!  It’s not; it’s incredibly dull.  Same classes every day, and the whole day is just taken up with class, class, class, and work (which hopefully will become more entertaining very soon).

OCD and Summer Semester

Okay, okay, so I’ve been slacking with the updates a bit.  What can I say?  When your days are all the same, there’s just nothing to say.  I guess that’s just how the summer semester is.

So what’s been happening lately…well, work is so terribly slow.  (I think our record is 23 people one night?)  It’s nice.  We sit and play cards every day.  Me, Jasper, Steve, Tyler, and Chrissy.  I take my break whenever I want (every one of us is required to take a thirty-minute break).  Like last night, for example, I sat out in the front eating and playing cards for an hour, then clocked out, went back to work, clocked back in, and took a break again.  Haha.  It’s weird.  But the management is hardly ever there…it’s just…great.  And we have such great nicknames; the new supervisor is named, “Oldie McFrenchspy”, because he’s 1. old, 2. French, and 3. a spy for Big Brother.  He’s nice, though, which is the ironic thing about it.  We all like him.  We just like his nickname, too.

It won’t stay like this for long.  June is supposed to be hell, with all the little kids and summer camps and everything going on.  It’s supposed to be worse than the regular school year.

Dishwasher Daniel has annoyed us all, because he dislikes our movie plans (and he just always annoys me).  Well, *sticks out tongue* that’s what I think about that.  We like our ideas.

I have also discovered that I have OCD.  I mean, I always knew I had it to a degree, but Maggie and Steve have made me more aware of it.  The night I first started driving Steve home, he was helping me clean up, and I was wiping down the things the way I always do, 10-15 times each, and he said, “Geez, think they’re clean enough yet!?” and Maggie said, “Oh, she can’t do it just once.”  Steve said, “What are you, OCD or something?”  And Maggie said, in all seriousness and as though she is my doctor and has considered this common knowledge forever, “Yeah.  She is–I’ve known this since the first night I ever worked with her.  She is.”

Then I realized that Maggie does constantly point out how I can never stop messing with the food…never.  I’m always stirring it, making sure there’s no film on top of the gravy or sauce, making sure everything is totally flat…and the way I wipe down the things, and the sneezeguards…Tinny always got done way before me, and I’d be wiping…and wiping….

I mean, I’m not seriously afflicted, but I’ll admit I have it to a minor degree (I’ve always admitted it, I just never noticed it was so bad until Maggie and Steve were joking about it).  Huh.  Interesting.

Finally bothered to get the updated perfume list into some semblance of alphabetical order:

  • Calvin Klein Euphoria – I didn’t dislike this scent and it lasted for a good long while.  However, I just got the impression that something about it was too old for me.
  • Calvin Klein Deep Euphoria – I wasn’t a fan of the initial smell, but then by the time I remembered to smell it again maybe an hour later, it had already worn off, so I’m just going to scrap this one.
  • Calvin Klein Reveal – I liked this one a lot.  It was woodsy and warm, with pepper kind of shining through.  It has great lasting power, too!  I still had hints of it at the end of the night.
  • Chanel Chance
  • Chanel Coco Mademoiselle – This one is making the finalists list.  It strikes me as a good spring smell.  I had visions of lying in soft grass, staring at puffy white clouds and feeling a light breeze on my face.  I imagined being at a Renaissance Faire.  It lasted most of the day.  Also, I’d be lying if I said the marketing of smelling like the British Natalie Portman wasn’t working on me somewhat.
  • Chanel Eau Tendre – It was a pleasing smell, but I guess I would just say it was nothing special to me.  Not bad, but I’ve tried other things that stood out to me a lot more.  Long-lasting, though.
  • Coach – Ever-so-slightly too sweet for me.  Must be the raspberries.  It wasn’t overbearing, but with the size of the list I’m trying to narrow down, even slightly too sweet is too much.
  • Dior Poison Girl – Awful!  It immediately smelled as though I had drenched myself in vanilla, which, despite enjoying the flavor of, have always detested the scent of for being too sickeningly sweet.  It was fairly long-lasting, too.
  • Dior J’Adore – I thought I liked the smell, but apparently ylang-ylang doesn’t work with my body chemistry somehow.  I had the same issue with Victoria’s Endless Love–I loved the scent, but on me it kind of smells like piss.  I mean, literally, I got hints of something urine-y mixed with something chemical-y.
  • Dior J’Adore Eau Lumiere – This was pretty long-lasting for an EDT, and not unpleasant.  I can’t say there was anything particularly special about it, though.  No oomph.  So I guess it’s coming off the list.
  • Dior Miss Dior
  • Dior Miss Dior Blooming Bouquet – When I closed my eyes and smelled this one for the first time, I had instant mental images of white tablecloths, crystal chandeliers, a tuxedoed live band, and the word “elegant”.  Unfortunately, this scent does not appear to be available in an EDP and did not last very long.  It lasted longer than either of the Ralph Lauren scents, however.  Because of that alone it’ll have to be a no.  If it’s ever available in an EDP I might just scoop it up.
  • Elizabeth Arden Untold
  • Elizabeth Arden Untold Absolu
  • Jimmy Choo Illicit – Another one I liked but that didn’t last long enough for me to give it another shot.
  • Juicy Couture Gold Couture – This barely lasted at all and just really wasn’t my thing.
  • Jo Malone London Mimosa & Cardamom
  • Jo Malone Nectarine Blossom & Honey – Great fresh scent for summer!  I actually liked how it smelled, but I felt like somehow it wasn’t me.
  • Lancome La Vie Est Belle – Another finalist.  I believe this lasted longer than any other scent I’ve tried so far.  I can’t describe what I like about it, but I can’t get enough of it.
  • Marc Jacobs Decadence
  • Marc Jacobs Daisy – Too powdery-fresh, which is great in an antiperspirant but not at all what I want in a perfume.  Also not long-lasting.
  • Marc Jacobs Daisy Dream – Same issues as Daisy.
  • Marc Jacobs Daisy Eau So Fresh – I pretty much dislike all the Marc Jacobs Daisy line for the same reasons.
  • Michael Kors 24K Brilliant Gold
  • Michael Kors Glam Jasmine
  • Michael Kors Sexy Amber – No, I don’t like this at all.  I thought I did before but it smells awful on me!  Medium lasting power.
  • Michael Kors Sexy Rio De Janeiro – Disgustingly sweet when I first put it on, but I grew fond of it throughout the day.  A gentle scent, good for summer.  Doesn’t last very long, though.  For that reason and because I need to be more selective, it’s coming off the list.
  • Modern Muse Le Rouge
  • My Burberry
  • Paco Rabanne Olympea – This is probably the longest-lasting sample I’ve tried so far, and fortunately I liked it.  It had an unusual salty scent and was almost, but not quite, masculine.  Very earthy, which I seem to dig.
  • Paco Rabanne Olympea Intense – Hated it.  Also long-lasting, but it had a disgusting vanilla scent, mixed with pepper.
  • Ralph Lauren Romance – I actually really liked the scent, but it only lasted for about an hour.  Maybe the concentration was just too low?  But whatever the problem was, I can’t choose as a signature scent something that I’m going to have to reapply several times throughout the day.  That’s not simple enough for me.
  • Ralph Lauren Midnight Romance – Not a fan.  It was too sickeningly sweet and also only lasted around an hour (thank goodness).
  • Thierry Mugler Alien – I thought I would like this one seeing as it was made up of pretty much all things I enjoy, but maybe I just didn’t like the way they went together?  Something about it was too strong and off-putting, and the thought that crossed my mind was that it was just too “adult” for me somehow.  Long-lasting, though.  I won’t be trying it again, for sure.
  • Thierry Mugler Angel – I couldn’t stand it.  It wasn’t that it smelled bad, but it smelled like something sweet I would like to eat, like a cookie.  I don’t want to smell like a cookie.
  • Tory Burch Love Relentlessly – It wasn’t a bad smell but I didn’t feel like there was anything really special about it.
  • Versace Bright Crystal – The very first thing I thought was that it reminded me of Egypt, which was a weird thought to have considering I’ve never been there; how could a scent remind me of it?  But throughout the day the thought I kept having was that it was very me somehow, which is exactly what a scent should be.  A good springtime scent.  It was also very long-lasting, so that’s a plus.
  • Victoria’s Secret Endless Love – I actually adore this scent.  It smells absolutely enchanting right out of the bottle.  But for some reason, it just doesn’t smell good on me.  So I have to give it a pass.
  • Vince Camuto Capri – I really liked this one.  It was calming and lasted most of the day.  It described itself as a “cool breeze off the Mediterranean Sea”, and I felt like I could visualize that when I smelled it.
  • Viktor & Rolf Flowerbomb – I actually liked everything about this one.
  • Yves Saint Laurent Black Opium