First of all, I would just like to say welcome to my new readers! Thank you very much for following. Please don’t be shy; feel free to drop by and introduce yourselves sometime!
I’m not going to school this semester. Not by choice—just because the school and the doctor’s office are both run by incompetent gits. So I now have four months to give them both hell. I will be going next semester. Of course, by that time, I will be the equivalent of one year behind schedule. Brilliant.
I did start back to work again this week. So I mean, I won’t be a complete loser for four months. Oh, but I’ll feel like it.
For the past couple months I’ve been rather silent on the Dean the Mormon stories, but no more. I’ve decided I’m way past the don’t-kiss-and-tell stage now. (He’s my boyfriend; we kiss. There.) So now I can tell stories as they arise without feeling guilty or having to put the lock on, which I dislike doing.
So…speaking of Dean the Mormon…we went to St. Augustine the other day just to be tourists. I got lost on the way to his house. (He lives about an hour away from me, and see, I suck at finding places on the first or fiftieth times, and I suck at giving directions. I’m just not good with this kind of thing. As I was trying to explain to him, when I learn to drive someplace new, I have to learn it in both the light and the dark, because they both look way different to me, so it’s like two completely different routes.) Also, I’d never seen it in the light, and it was light while I was trying to find it. I did manage to find my way out in the dark later, which is saying something, as there are very few lights out where he lives.
We were headed into a bookstore a few minutes after we arrived, and there were some other people headed into the store, coming from the other direction, when The Mormon paused and had that look of, ‘Hey, I know you’ on his face. Then they paused, too. And when I saw that they had a baby, I knew that this must be Trask and Co.
Trask is one of The Mormon’s best friends—the one who lives in Gainesville with his wife and their baby, whom, when he came out, Trask said looked like something out of The Dark Crystal. (Apparently he’s grown out of that stage, because I couldn’t really see it. And believe me, I looked.) Trask is also the one who calls dozens of times during two-hour make-out sessions because he knows that when The Mormon isn’t answering his phone, that’s what’s going on.
So they just happened to be going into the same store as us on the same day at the exact same time. I love weird coincidences like that. Anyway, so as we parted ways, Trask shook my hand and said, “It was lovely to finally meet you; I’ve heard great things. This guy has really fallen head over heels for you.”
We went into some candy store later and argued for a while over whether black licorice is good or bad, and then we got a bag of various things, and I put a scoop of black licorice in it, and so then I stuck a piece in my mouth, and he informed me coolly that I was not going to get kissed for an hour. I laughed and ate more licorice.
We went to the fort, the name of which I can’t remember, but…you know…the fort…and joked about the two-hundred-year-old graffiti on the walls (I’m serious; there was stuff carved from like 1800-something) and some General or Commander Pratt. And then we made Pratt jokes for the rest of the time we were there. (Example: There were several spots where you could, even now, quite easily fall from the upper level to…way far below, and I wondered aloud how often that must have happened back in the day, and he said he didn’t know but it must have happened, and it must have sucked, and I looked down below in this mournful sort of way and said, “Oh, there goes Pratt.” Stuff like that. ‘Twas fun.)
Then we went to this 50s diner where they actually played all 50s music (which was really cool because I knew every single song, some of which I hadn’t heard in…well, many years). And back to his house again to watch Say Anything, this kick-ass British show called Spaced, and a little Battlestar: Galactica. At one point, he stepped outside to smoke, and his brother came out and said, “Where’s Dean?”
“Oh, probably outside smoking,” I said.
“That was enthusiastic,” Jeremy (the brother) said.
“Ha…yeah, well…I’m just going to eat more black licorice to get back at him,” I said, and ate about six pieces.
I checked the caller ID this morning and discovered that yesterday, while I was out, another stalker called me. For the first time in months. This guy liked me back when I was in my journalism class a year ago, and he liked a few of my friends, too. He did a story on HP fandom, and asked for some of my friends’ names to interview them. Then he started stalking Katie. He’d come up to me and ask if I knew where any of her classes were, or when (I very coldly informed him that I did not), and then sent her an e-mail, which I actually still have.
From April 1, 2017…April Fools’ Day, go figure:
Just wanted to say that it was nice talking to you and thanks for your oppinoin [sic] on the new Harry Potter book. Also, if we can meet up sometime next week, can u tell me what u look like. Maybe that way it will make it easier for me to find u. For me, 6’1”, dark short brown hair, glasses, 150 lbs. hazel eyes. I like HP, photography, paintball, watching tv, playing my Game Boy, going to the movies, listening to HP audiobooks. What do u like to do?
This guy was really weird, if you haven’t already guessed that. He had this creepy, halting sort of speech, really slow, with odd inflections. Like a poorly-made robot. He tried calling both of us several times after that, and neither of us ever answered again.
Tell me, what is with these people, and how do I keep meeting them?
So I went to lunch with Milo today…hadn’t seen him in a few weeks…and this scary thing happened when I got out of my car. We were walking into the restaurant, side by side, and I don’t know, I guess obviously there’s some pent-up stuff inside, and now I’m not afraid of hand-holding like I was two months ago…anyway, as we were walking in, I tried to grab his hand. I don’t know what was going through my head. But I brushed against his arm with mine and reached down for it, and that was the exact moment I realized what I was doing and jerked my hand away again like I’d burnt it. I don’t think he noticed—I sort of played it off like I’d just walked too close and then lengthened the distance between us. But then later we walked over to Target and I did it again! So I just crammed my hands into my damn pockets and kept them there.
(I would just like to say, for those of you who are wondering, that no matter what my feelings for a certain other concerned party, I would never cheat on The Mormon, because for one thing, I’m just not like that, but for another…he’s a really freaking great boyfriend. I couldn’t ask for better, and I like him a lot. And even if Milo finally came to his senses all of a sudden and realized that he should have been with me all along…I’d make him wait indefinitely.)
So afterward I went back to The Mormon’s to watch more of Spaced. That show totally kicks ass, I’m telling you. Like I said, it’s an hour drive, and I knew that it would be really difficult trying to find his house in the dark, so the entire way there, I felt like I was trying to outrun the darkness. As I explained to him, I kept checking the rearview mirror, and I could see the sky behind me getting darker and darker, and I was going faster and faster, when at last I hit the traffic on San Jose, and the darkness was coming much more quickly. But I actually made it just in the nick of time, when a sliver of light still hung in the air.
And now I s’pose I’m finished for the evening. See, I told you there was a real entry coming soon.