Work Family Dinners

Brother, Mom, and I started a game of Risk last night.  None of us had ever played before; it was pretty confusing.  All I knew was, I was going to protect Great Britain with everything I had.  I knew I would lose and was just doing it for laughs.  I also took part of Canada and all of Australia, but when it came down to it, I was putting everybody on Great Britain.  The game was long and slow until, with one massive and deadly sweep of the tail, George wiped out the whole world.  And that was the end of that game.

I was actually pleased to return to work today—well, yesterday, really, but nearly everyone was back today.  It’s nice to see our familiar cafeteria peoples who come through the line nightly, and the other workers feel like family.  For people like Tinny and me, that is our nightly family dinner:  Eating in front of the television, watching the news with Glenn, Bob, Greg, Steve, Chrissy, Tyler, Dennis…it’s a good atmosphere.  Have I mentioned how much I love my job now, as compared to Watson?

So Tinny and I are keeping a watch out for new people in our line, and I see this hot guy that I’ve never seen before, and I was just opening my mouth to ask him if he was new, when he said something to me.  I didn’t catch all of it, but I was certain I heard the name “Jones” in there somewhere.  This startled me—how would anyone at UNF know my last name?  If I hadn’t had my nametag on, this guy wouldn’t have even known my first name.  It crossed my mind that perhaps Cortney had introduced him to me before, and I’d just forgotten…but for someone I’ve met to remember my last name, when I can’t remember his face (and especially a handsome someone, at that)?

I said, “What did you say?”

He replied, “Are you Lesley Jones’s daughter?”

This was even more disturbing than before.  How could he possibly know my mom’s name!?  “Um…yes?” I said.

“I’m Joe.  I work with her at Watson.  The St. Augustine office,” he said.  “She told me to come in and look for you.”

“Oh!”  I laughed, very relieved now.  “Well, it’s nice to meet you.”

I am now reading “the only complete and unabridged paperback edition” of Les Miserables…all all 1,463 pages of it.  As of this moment, I am only on page 45.  Got a ways to go yet.


Happy New Year!

Let’s talk about last night.

Psychobrat was planning to spend the night at a friend’s house and then go shopping today for Spidermonkey’s Christmas present (he’s been out of town).  At 8, she came out of her room demanding that my mom take her to the bank so that she can cash her check.  She had some money already, but her reasoning was that, even though she didn’t intend to spend her entire check on Spidermonkey, and even though she still intended to save some of it and not spend it all on herself, either, she has to have all of her money together, with her, so that she knows how much she has and how much she can spend.  She can’t do it on a sheet of paper.

My mom didn’t want to go to the bank, so Psychobrat started screeching.

My dad heard the mating call of the yellow-bellied sapsucker and came out of his room to investigate.  He immediately sided with Psychobrat, saying that even if my mom didn’t want to go to the bank, she could at least give Psychobrat all of her money.  So he started fishing in his pockets and then told my mom to go to her purse and take out everything she had until, together, they had $140 for Psychobrat.  Psychobrat went into her room, complaining that they had only given her $90 so far.  She emerged a bit later, and Mom had decided she’d rather just go to the bank.  Psychobrat gave all the money back and Mom went to the bank to cash her check.

The only time I bothered to make any comment at all through all of this was when I said, “It’s not good to carry that much money around with you at one time, anyway.”  Dad immediately turned around and looked at me and said, “It’s HER money; she can do whatever she likes with it!  GOD, Ginny!  What do you think she’s going to do, lose it!?”  So I just kept my mouth shut for the rest of that shit-show.

Milo walked in the door right after all of this.  We were supposed to hang out and get a little tipsy.  I went to tell him what was going on and asked if he wanted to go for a walk.

He said, “Uhh…no…I was kind of planning to go to Moe’s.”

I felt like I’d been punched in the stomach.  I said, “Oh…well, okay, then.  Have fun.”

I went to my room and started getting a headache.  I came out to grab some cold water and Tylenol to make myself feel better.  That didn’t work out.

The first thing I saw when I walked out of my room was the dog peeing on the carpet.  I immediately started yelling, “FALKOR!  YOU STUPID DOG!”

My dad came out of their room and yelled, “WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON OUT HERE!?”  So I yelled back, “HE JUST PEED ON THE CARPET!”

My dad laughed.

He looked at my mom, who had just come out of their room, also, and said, “You see now why I don’t want to get a new carpet?”  He says this all the time, as though we don’t know.  And then he started yelling about the carpet like it’s news, and he said to me, “And you don’t understand why I get this way…” as though he pities me for being so stupid.  (Hahaha, you stupid girl, you don’t know what angry is.)


He laughed, and then he paused.  The question had actually stumped him–only for a second, but he was at a loss for words.  That never happens.  I took that second before he immediately started yelling something again at my mom to go into my room, grab my coat, and walk out the front door.

I walked around the neighborhood for an hour and 15 minutes before my mom found me in the car.  But I insisted that I did not wish to go back to the house yet, so she finally went back home.  My goal was to stay out until after midnight, to make some sort of point, although I don’t know what it was.  It was 10:00 when I set out, which meant I’d have to walk around with a headache for two hours.  I was so freaking tired.  And when I only had five minutes left, I thought, ‘Wow, I can’t believe I made it!’

That instant, I felt like I was going to throw up.

I didn’t want to throw up on the street, so I decided to head home immediately.  And after all that…all the times I told myself I could just keep going, just another 45 minutes…just one more half-hour…I walked in the door at exactly 11:59.  What a fucking waste.

I didn’t throw up, but as I thought I’d be sick if I moved, I just went to bed.  And that was my New Year’s.

The worst part of all was that I had so wanted to get drunk…and I slept through the champagne.  I didn’t even have a glass of wine earlier because I was waiting on the damned champagne.

The Walking T-1000

About my dream from last night.  I don’t know how I got here…but I was at this huge summer camp that was full–and I mean full–of zombies.  You couldn’t walk anywhere without bumping into some of them.  A lot of them seemed to be students from school who I haven’t seen in a while…like, I kept walking past this one spot where a girl I recognized was standing, and she was a zombie (except that she didn’t seem changed a whole lot from who she’d been before)…and she kept asking for my hat.  And I wouldn’t give it to her.

I kept walking through all the zombies, growing increasingly nervous, thinking one of them was bound to notice me eventually…and then I saw T-1000.  Because I was apparently stupid in this dream, I headed in that direction, without thinking about the obvious fact that T-1000 would be killing whatever actual humans were left, even if he did manage to take out some zombies, as well.  So I got to, like, touching distance from T-1000, and I was just watching him mutilate people left and right (and they were all becoming zombies)…and then he turned and looked at me.  So I ran.  Okay, and I know it’s really stupid to try and outrun a Terminator…so then I just threw him a decoy.  Milo’s ex happened to be standing right there…so I threw her into T-1000 and kept on running.  I don’t know if she was still alive or already a zombie by that point, but I figured she was worth sacrificing to the…um…cause.

So then I jumped onto a bus.  I think it was the end of the week at camp, and all of these people were supposed to be going home, so I ran to the middle of the bus and just collapsed…but then I noticed that all the people around me on the bus were zombies.  I hadn’t expected any of them to be on the bus.  But they were.  So I looked down to the front, and the driver herself was not a zombie…but for some reason she was Jennifer Lawrence.  I made eye contact with her, noticed in the mirror above her that the zombies seemed to be showing us more and more interest…and said, “Um…can I have a word with you?”

We step off the bus, and I say, “What the hell are you doing driving zombies around!?”  She says, “Wouldn’t you, if it was the only way you knew of to escape from this madness?”  So I said, “Yeah.  Good point.”  And she started to say something else, but I never found out what that was, because at that moment, a bunch of the zombies from the bus jumped out and pounced on her.  And I ran.  Harder and faster than I had run from T-1000, because he was at least hot.  I did not want to be eaten by zombies.

So now I’m way on the other side of the camp, and I of course have to rest, and I just fall over, and I’m panting…and I look up, and that one girl from school says, “I still like your hat.”

I freeze–she’s at a dangerously close proximity to me (like, right over me and I’m lying on the ground)–so I grudgingly, slowly give her my hat–taking the one she has on her head, this little black beret-type-thing, and putting it on my head–and she just stares at me as I remember The Walking Dead , and the only way to get through a whole humongous group of zombies like that:  Pretend to be one.

So I make myself look as zombiful as possible, and I’m just walking…really…really…s-l-o-w-l-y…………and somehow, eventually, I finally make it back to the buses…and I climb back onto Jennifer Lawrence’s bus, expecting it to be empty this time, as all the zombies had jumped off to snack on her, and once I step onto the bus I practically fly all the way to the back of it so I can just rest for a while, hopefully without being noticed…and then I realize that I am lying across not one, but several laps.

This jolting realization causes me to, again, leap up into the air as though I can fly, and I’ve sort of jumped back several seats, and fall into another one, where I realize once again I am sitting on another lap…and I jump up again…and there are people all around me, even more than there had been the first time…but after my initial panic, I realize that these aren’t zombies–it’s a bus full of soldiers (who all happen to be super-hot)!

So, they’re all just staring at me oddly, obviously wondering what had caused my little freak-out…and I said, “You’re not zombies?” (just to clarify, you know) and they look at each other, confused, and sort of laugh, and they’re like, “Uhh…no…?”

I look out the bus windows, and the zombies are still out there, all walking around aimlessly…nothing’s changed…and then I look at them as if they’re insane, and say, “Haven’t you noticed the zombies?  How did you get here, anyway?  What are you doing here?”

They tell me they’ve been sent to kill some sort of supersoldier from the future, but, not finding one, just a bunch of drunk people, they packed up their weapons and got back on the bus, and were now just waiting for the driver, and was that me?

I stared at them in shock for a few moments and said, “You have…weapons?”

They did; but all of the weapons were packed up and disassembled, in the compartments on the side of the bus.

“Well…umm…I’m your driver…” I said, thinking to myself that I would figure out how to actually drive the bus when it came to that, “…and, uh…you all…need to be armed.  I’ll open the compartments there, and you all get your weapons as quickly as possible.”

So I get out by myself and somehow open the side things, and they follow me out and get all their weapons and everything, and I tell them to just start shooting anything that movies…and they were taking out zombies left and right, and then T-1000, perhaps drawn by the sound of the firearms, just showed up, looking really hot, too, and they all immediately stopped shooting and turned to look at him.

“Um…guys?” I said, cautiously, expecting T-1000 to start running at us any second.  “He’s not that easy to kill…in fact, I don’t really think you can kill him….  I’m going to start the bus…and you all…keep your weapons out…and get on….”

I don’t know why they were listening to me–as the driver, I guess I just outranked them–but they did what I said, keeping the weapons trained on him, and slowly stepping back onto the bus.  And then…very slowly, at first, but not for long…T-1000 started to run for the bus…and I was starting up the engine, and then I remembered that I didn’t know how to drive a damned bus…so I started to panic, and then thought, Aw, how hard could it be?… and stepped on the gas and barrelled into a bunch of zombies that were still moving, and then in the direction of the road, wherever that was…and T-1000 latched himself onto the back of the bus and I heard this really loud banging as I imagine he was trying to break in, and I’m freaking out, and the military guys are like, “Damn!  You might have been right about this guy!” and I yelled in panic and frustration, “OFCOURSEI’MRIGHTHAVEN’TYOUEVERWATCHEDTHETERMINATOR!?”

I wouldn’t know if we ever got out of that or not, because I woke up.  And when I thought about it…this dream was really freaking funny.

I’m afraid my computer is going to restart and I’ll lose all of this, so I’ll go ahead and post it now.  Yeah.


I watched A Wrinkle in Time today.  That movie is terrible–don’t watch it if you’re expecting the book.  It’s nothing like the book.  If it had been given another name, it might have been okay…but no.

I had the above worded so much better before I signed on here.

Anyway, in one of the scenes which is not in the book, Meg is talking to herself.  Not normal talking to herself, though…talking to herself in a crazy sort of way.  And her evil side tells her flat-out, “You know what your problem is?  Nobody loves you.  Nobody will ever love you because you are ugly, stupid, and weird.”  And et cetera.  This was, almost verbatim, part of what Sister used to say to me every day when we were growing up.  I was just…in shock…that I was hearing it from another source.  The angels in the movie later told her not to give in to evil (referring to that side of herself), and I just thought…wow.  It feels like they’re talking to me.

What is ironic is that Meg has always reminded me of myself, and Charles Wallace of Brother.  The first time I read this book was in 5th grade, and they were roughly the same ages as Brother and myself at that time.  Their physical descriptions are similar to us–Meg is described as having frizzy brown hair and glasses, and Charles was a small boy with brown hair–vague, of course, but they still describe us…and the relationship between the two of them has also always reminded me of mine and Brother’s.

I was digging through my old handwritten journals tonight and found this irritating story from 9/29/15:

She is such a bitch!  Psychobrat has strategically worked it out so that I can rarely-to-never use the internet without shouting at her to get off, and if I do by some chance get on, she pitches a royal-ass fit.  Any fighting over the computer gives Dad more incentive to want to get rid of it, so this is definitely something we shouldn’t do.  Psychobrat either does not realize this painfully obvious fact, or she does and it is all part of the plan to be the only one who can ever use it when she wants, which is always.  She claims that she has many hours of homework to do on it each night…on the internet…yeah…this makes sense.  First of all, how can just one stupid high schooler have hours of homework every night?  Second, how does all of it involve the internet?

When she’s not doing homework, it’s still her turn because it “just isn’t fair” that she never gets to do anything on it but homework (even though I’ve found her on Facebook–where she’s not even allowed, but in the privacy of her own bedroom no one gives a shit–when she was supposedly doing homework, on numerous occasions).

So that covers almost the entire time she is home.

The few times when I actually have an opportunity to get on are brief, short-lived, and far-between.  She will inevitably interrupt, saying that she has homework, or has to talk to the all-powerful, almighty Denise or one of her other divine friends.  If I protest that it should be my turn, for obvious reasons, she will deny all of the above and start screaming like the spoiled ox’s ass that she is.

Tonight, for example–Cortney called to say good night at the moment when I had finished my few hours of bookwork (this is rare; and I am a college student!) and then asked if I would be online later.  Yes, I replied, now seemed just the perfect opportunity–I could get on for half an hour (which is a long time nowadays) and then actually be in bed by 10 for a good night’s sleep!  So I go and attempt to sign on, and Psychobrat immediately starts screeching that I kicked her off in the middle of an all-important conversation with Goddess Denise!  So this of course pissed off Dad, and, not wanting to lose the computer, I came straight to bed instead.  It is now 10:00.  Why must she be such a fucking brat?

I really don’t have a lot new to say right now.  I’ve sort of forgotten everything I had wanted to say earlier, so I’ll sign off for now.

One Of Those Things That Could Destroy The Universe

This is so funny, and so the sort of thing that would happen to me, it demands a mention.  I went to the movie with Gary, George, and Milo last night, and when Gary and George were standing outside waiting for us, they saw two people walk by that they thought were us…but when the people got closer, Gary and George realized they were not us…they just looked exactly like us, except ten years older.  And so they were joking around about how they couldn’t let us see them, because then we might cause a paradox that would destroy us or the entire universe.  Before I knew what they were talking about (because I could only hear bits and pieces of George and Milo’s conversation before Gary told me what was going on), I heard George say, “It was really f—ing bizarro, man.”  And at first I was upset that I had missed it, but then I realized that I can’t see Bizarro Me, because of course it would destroy the universe!  Have any of our Bizarro selves ever actual seen their alter-egos?  Gary didn’t see Bizarro Gary until we showed him the picture…and Milo and Bizarro Milo have met, but they knew they were going to meet before they did.  Bizarros can not meet their counterparts.  It would be catastrophic.  So I will no longer be upset by the fact that I have personally never seen a Bizarro Ginny.

…Also…if Gary and George saw Future Milo and Ginny together…does that mean that we are…together…in the future?  That’s a good omen!

I was thinking more about it, and I concluded that, were those two people really the Milo and me of the future (and therefore, hopefully, actually together), then, ten years from now, we must have the capability to travel through time…so why would we have traveled to that moment?  Maybe only a few people in the future (namely, the two of us) actually have that capability, so what would be more natural than for us to travel around and play random jokes on our friends?  In order for us to have been practically joking, though, we would have to have known that we had gone to a movie that night with Gary and George at AMC…it would have to have been written down somewhere.  Sort of like a map–so we would know, “Well, they were here at this time waiting for us….”  So I wrote down on my calendar for said date, “Rogue One with Gary and George, 9:40 AMC”…just to make everything possible, see.  If I hadn’t written it down, we wouldn’t know ten years from now, so then we couldn’t have come back, and that wouldn’t have been us that they saw last night.  But I have now made it possible for them to have been us–and only because I already know “we” were there.  Like…”I knew I could do it…because…well, I’d already done it!”  Or like in Back to the Future, when Marty teaches Johnny B. Goode to Marvin Berry, even though he knew it because it was Chuck Berry’s song.  Like that.  This has been a thoroughly confusing and hard-to-follow post.  Hopefully most of you get what I’m talking about.  My main point–in writing that information down on my calendar, I was trying to ensure that this event happens in the future (and that said people actually are together at this time).

Discovering Christmas

Psychobrat is in her room rearranging things.  She’s making a huge mess of the rest of the house by cleaning stuff out of her room.  I mean, she just has no respect for the rest of the family, you know?

I have a feeling Milo won’t be here on New Year’s Eve.  If he’s not at his sister’s, he’ll be with somebody else…which means I won’t be able to kiss him like I’ve planned.

About half an hour ago, right before he went to bed, he was standing right here talking to me.  It was almost completely dark in here–the only lights came faintly from the hallway, from the monitor right in front of me, and from the Christmas tree just behind him.  The tree cast this extraordinarily warm and enchanting magical glow on him, where his face was half hidden in shadows, but half lit by the multi-colored lights.  This season hasn’t really felt much like Christmas to me, for some reason…not even the songs have been doing it for me.  But even though Christmas was yesterday, looking at him just then…it was the most Christmas-y thing I’d seen all year.  I so wanted to stand up, wrap my arms around him, and kiss him good night…but of course I did not.  And he went to bed.

The Cyclops Dream

My dream last night was pretty creepy.  I was informed by some official-seeming source that I needed to appear at a particular building in another city at a certain time on a certain day.  They had a mission for me, and apparently I was the only one in the world that they knew of (for some reason?) who could help.

So I went, because the whole thing sounded so Men in Black-ish (and because this was a dream), and appeared inside this building which I had believed to be nearly empty, but which, in actuality, held a whole bunch of newscasters, who were the ones to tell me what exactly I had to do.

They told me that some mad scientist (maybe not mad, but he had gotten in a bit over his head and had put the world in danger) had created this…thing.  A huge monster, which I wish I could show you, but I can only describe in words.  I think this building had like 40 stories…and then there was a ledge on the outside, a really wide ledge, like the width of another huge room on the side, but it was a ledge nonetheless…and the monster rose up to this ledge when standing.  It was green, with one huge, bright yellow eye taking up most of its head.  It could shoot lasers or lightning or something out of its eye, completely disintegrating, inside a fireball which would then evaporate, whatever it aimed for.  However, its eye always turned to a reddish pink before this occurred, so you’d know it was aiming, and could possibly dodge it.  Maybe.

Somehow, they informed me, I had to take out the monster.  And I can’t remember now what it was about me…it couldn’t aim when I was there, or…I was immune to it—no, that’s not it, because I remember still being afraid of it (maybe because it also ate people?)—I don’t know, but there was something about me that affected or was affected by the monster differently than anyone else.

So they all waited inside, and sent me out on this ledge to face the monster, armed with something that shot similar beams as the monster’s, because we all thought perhaps that could destroy it.  There were other people out there, sheltered behind little alcoves (like I said, it was basically a whole room, except with no wall on that end, just a drop), and looking through those things you put quarters in to see at a distance.

While standing there looking up at the thing, I noticed somebody next to me, looking through another of these and frantically writing things on a clipboard.  He was dressed in a white lab coat, like he was a doctor or something, so I approached him and asked what he was doing.

It was M. Night Shyamalan, in a cameo appearance, just as though this were one of his films.

He ended up being the scientist who had created this thing, and he seemed completely regretful, but like he couldn’t help creating it for some reason…and he was saying how he was in charge of figuring out how to destroy it (while I was the one who actually had to do it)…and then a little while later, a bit farther down this ledge, another monster popped up…and I looked at him in complete shock, and he said, “I couldn’t help it, I couldn’t help it!  I had to make a female, too!”

That’s really all I remember, excepting running forward, a whole lot closer to the things, and their eyes turning pink and shooting at me, and me running to the sides and just dodging the fire…and then I woke up.  Strange, strange dream.