Before I begin, a bit about the people I work with (the ones who come into the story): There’s Bob, one of the chefs, one of the shortest people employed at the café, and basically my supervisor (which is weird, because Bob isn’t even technically a supervisor…I just work his line). And then Maggie is one of the other chefs who doesn’t exactly have her own line at the moment, because during the summer they’ve only got the one open. But all of them still cook. Maggie’s sort of…scary. I mean, she’s cool…just don’t get on her bad side. I once said, many entries ago, that she was manlier than any of the men, except for perhaps Steve (another chef).
Tonight at work, I was telling Bob (who really is quite short) that my friend Katie and I are planning to take fencing lessons (which we are). He thought it sounded like fun and told me to keep him posted. Then I added, “And we’ll be able to get in shape, too!”
Bob said sarcastically, “Yeah…like you need it!” and walked back in the kitchen to tell Maggie what I’d just said.
Well, I’m not precisely sure what happened…but I heard yelling. And then Bob appeared at the doorway and said, “Come on, Ginny, tell her—tell her what you said!”
I walked back into the kitchen to see what exactly was going on. From what I could figure out, Bob had told Maggie I’d said I was going to fence to get in shape (like I needed it), but Maggie had misunderstood and somehow gotten the idea that Bob had told her she needed to get in shape.
Or maybe Bob really did go back there and say something to the effect of, “Hey, Maggie, you should fence with Ginny so you can get in shape!” I really don’t know. (And for the record—thin and in shape are completely different things.)
Whatever happened, it pissed Maggie off. So they were squabbling, and Bob said, “Go on, Ginny, tell her what you said!”
I said, “Uh, Bob? She’s got a knife.” This seemed to go unnoticed by either of them, as they were interested only in bickering with each other.
“Ginny? Tell her. Tell her what you said!”
“Bob…she’s got a really big knife.” Again…nobody was paying attention.
A few more squabble-volleys back and forth as I tried to figure out what exactly was going on, and I finally said loudly, “What I said was that I was going to take fencing lessons, and that maybe it will help me to get in shape.”
Bob looked at Maggie triumphantly and said, “You see? That’s all I said!”
They were both in that mode where you’re really pissed, but because there are other people around and you’re in a professional environment, you have to attempt to hide it (but it’s still so obvious).
Well, Bob told Maggie she had a big mouth (at which point, Maggie picked up the really big knife—I think it was a butcher knife) and said, “Say that again.”
Bob said, “You do! You’ve got a big mouth.”
“Say it again, you f—ing Keebler elf!” Maggie said, stepping closer.
At this point, I burst out laughing, partly because the entire situation was so completely ridiculous, but mostly because it really reminded me of the Big Nose scene from the beginning of Life of Brian.
Just wanted to share that anecdote from the evening.