Last night, I got a full night’s sleep for the first time in a very long time, and I believe that is probably also the reason why I had my first dream in a long time. And I am, of course, going to tell you about it, because that is what I do. (But let me just warn you that, unlike many of my dreams, this one doesn’t make any logical sense at all, and is hardly even in a logical order.)
Cort and I went to L.A. to meet her dad, and to stay for a week or so.
So we’re staying in this huge hotel where, like, rich people stay, and Cort and I had our own suites, and I think her dad had his own floor…anyway, so Cort knocks on my door and says, “Come with me.”
I don’t know where we’re going, and I say as much, but she tells me that this doesn’t matter, and we go knock on her dad’s door, she tells him we’re going to “that place that she was telling him about” and he says, “Okay, you girls have fun,” and we leave.
We walk out of the hotel, and we head to this big hilly area, where it’s all wet and…marshy…and we’re just walking through, and walking through, and it’s all green and pretty actually, just wet because it had just rained…I clearly recall being able to see these beautiful mountain views from the tops of these hills, which were probably about 15 feet high themselves (this really doesn’t sound like L.A., cause I could see everything pretty clearly), and then they’d slope back down and we’d be in a little valley and not be able to see anything…and there were tire tracks that we were following, so apparently people sometimes drove through here, but we were walking. (I think I saw bike tracks, too.)
Eventually we came up out of a little valley, after about ten minutes of walking, and were in front of another big, ritzy hotel.
Somehow, we are able to walk right inside and to somebody’s door. We stop.
I say, “Is this what you wanted to show me? This looks just like our hotel,” and she says, “Mm-hmm…you’ll see.” And she knocks on the door.
Guy Pearce answers it. (…?) I can’t remember what she said, but somehow she convinces him to let us in.
We’re just sitting there; he’s standing by the bathroom door, we’re sitting on the edge of the bed, talking about…what? I don’t remember. I remember that, even though I’m not sure I’ve ever even heard his real accent, he was speaking in the Australian accent in the dream.
So then he says, “Well, could you please excuse me for a moment?”
Cort says, “Uh-huh! Go ahead,” and he gives us a weird look and then heads into the bathroom (he’d had a towel around his neck since the moment he opened the door), and turns on the shower.
We just…sit there for a sec, and then Cort says, “So…isn’t this great?”
I bounced gleefully on the bed. I squeaked, “How did you manage this!?”
Cort said, “I was just out walking around the other day when you were napping, and I saw this crowd of people, so I followed them, and they led me right to his door.”
None of this was logical in the slightest, but that’s how it goes in dreams.
We both just giggled for a few seconds, and then there was silence as we just sat there waiting….
Then he came out of the bathroom, in new clothes, drying his hair with the towel, gives us that same weird look like he’s trying to figure out who we are, or trying to remember if he knows us for some reason, and says, “Well…I sort of…have to get going…I’ve got a…thing…tonight,” and Cort says, “Okay, that’s fine.”
So then we went to this little café for dinner and ran into Elijah Wood. He actually came up to our table and started hitting on us. I mean, really bad pick-up lines and all.
Then he says, “I’d ask you to come back to my place, but I’ve got something to do tonight, so here’s my number.”
We ask what he’s planning to do that night, and it turns out he’s got a Wizard of Oz reunion party thing to go to, where they’re going to watch the movie (which he apparently was the star of when he was two. …!?)
“Actually,” he says, “you two could come with me as guests.”
We decide this is a very good idea.
Eventually, what happens, after we run through the valley though a few more times, and change into prom dresses that we just happen to have laying around the hotel, and run back through the valley with the prom dresses on, we go to the party. (Guy Pearce was there, too.)
And then there was chaos. Not because of us, however.
We saw my boss’s head sticking up out of the ground. He looked thoroughly pissed.
And then we found out that it wasn’t really the ground; it was a stage, and there was room underneath where he was standing up, and his head was coming through the ground, which had just grown there. (When I say “ground”, I mean like, grass, dirt, outdoors-y sort of ground.) So basically, my boss was wearing the ground like a necklace.
And then Elijah Wood steps out of a crowd of people and looks down on my boss’s head, and says, “You’ve made me very angry,” and he…he turns…green…and he starts growing really tall, and his clothes start tearing, and he turns into….
…Well, not the Hulk. Where’d you get that idea? I told you this wasn’t logical.
…He turned into one of those green squidlike alien beings from The Simpsons, except really tall.
And he started yelling all this stuff—at my boss (who must have seriously offended him somehow)—about how he had a miserable childhood, and everyone always made fun of him in school, and he had no confidence, and the person that he is today is only really an act, not real, and yada yada yada.
So then he points a tentacle at the ground and, BOOM!—the ground disappears, and it’s just a stage again, and we’re inside, and my boss ducks and I guess is under the stage.
But that’s not all that happened. At the same time, a whole bunch more people from the crowd all turned into giant green squids.
It turned out that Elijah Wood was the leader of a whole bunch of aliens.
Well, we started yelling stuff up to him, trying to calm him down, and finally…he did…and he turned back into Elijah Wood…and then all the aliens shrunk back into human forms again, too.
Elijah Wood started crying, and we were hugging him and stuff, and apparently the party was over. Haha. So we just went and hung out with him.
He was telling us about his childhood, and I was giving him lots of advice and telling him it wasn’t that bad, and look at where he is now, and after a while he started to become really attached to me.
Cortney, who really likes Elijah Wood, saw this and didn’t seem to mind.
I, who have never really been attracted to him, started to like him back. Weird.
Then the next thing I remember was us running all over our hotel in the middle of the night, and everything was really dark and stuff, and then we ran into Greta Garbo. …!?
Okay, that’s it for now. That dream took way longer than I expected.