I showed off my “spring break photos” at work tonight to Dennis (and everyone else around, but it was only supposed to be for Dennis). These were made up of eight photos: three from a party I went to where I wore a cute dress, two random selfies with my cardboard Han Solo cutout, and three of “Erik”—one of him by himself, and two with Emmy Rossum. I didn’t really know what order they were in; just mixed up, so as to blend together more.
I handed them to Dennis. He’d already seen the pic of Erik by himself, so he knew what he looked like already. Then he turned to the next pic.
“That’s not you!” he said. Oh, shit, I thought.
More loudly, he waved it in front of my face, and said, “That’s not you!”
What I saw made me laugh out loud. It was me—one of the pics from the party, the selfie in the dress.
Then he turned to the next one. I still didn’t know what he was looking at. He said, “Oh, now you’re just cropping heads!”
It was one of the Han pictures. Dennis has seen my room; he knows Han is in there! What the heck?
I said, “No, no, no; that’s just the guy who lives in my room!”
Then he turned to the next one—one of the Erik ones. “That’s not you! Who is that!?”
Then he started calling other people, and pretty soon, he, Greg, Chrissi, and Tiffany were all gathered around, debating which ones were me and which weren’t. They were all like, “Turn this way!” and “Okay, let me see you from this angle!” while comparing minute details.
By the time the evening was over, from what I could figure out, they “knew” that the one of my by myself from the party and one of “Erik” and Emmy Rossum were the same person (perhaps my mother, or some 40-year-old). They “knew” that the two of me with Han were cropped. And they weren’t quite sure about the other one of Emmy Rossum and Erik or the other two of me at the party…either the 40-year-old, or me dressing up like her…something like that. Interesting. Here’s the one that convinced them:
It was utter confusion. Tinny and I found it difficult to hold straight faces through all of this. I’d expected to have to defend the pictures of Emmy Rossum as being me; I hadn’t expected to have to defend the pictures of myself as being me. Anyway, I figured someone was certain to recognize either Emmy or the very old pictures of Gerry Butler and it would all be over, but…surprise! For the moment I still have a fake boyfriend.
I feel like Milo’s girlfriend (Mo) is laughing at me, because I love him but she has him. I have no reason to think this, I guess; I just…I don’t know. She has to be aware I have some feelings for him. Doesn’t she? If you were constantly going to see your boyfriend at his house, where someone else who loves him also happened to live, wouldn’t you feel smug, at least?
I have to stop talking about this. I made a freaking vow! I wasn’t supposed to complain. I’m supposed to be mature. I’m supposed to be, but I’m just…not. So I was supposed to act like I am. Can’t I even do that!? No…I have to leave my house every Friday and hide out in different locations around town, so I don’t have to sit here while he’s in his room with his girlfriend.
Okay, I’m headed to the UCF website to figure out what all I need to send there, and to make a list.
Updated perfume list:
- Versace Bright Crystal
- Calvin Klein Euphoria
- Calvin Klein Reveal – I liked this one a lot. It was woodsy and warm, with pepper kind of shining through. It has great lasting power, too! I still had hints of it at the end of the night.
- Lancome La Vie Est Belle – Another finalist. I believe this lasted longer than any other scent I’ve tried so far. I can’t describe what I like about it, but I can’t get enough of it.
- Jo Malone London Mimosa & Cardamom
- Michael Kors Sexy Amber – No, I don’t like this at all. I thought I did but it smells awful on me! Medium lasting power.
- Michael Kors 24K Brilliant Gold
- Michael Kors Glam Jasmine
- Michael Kors Sexy Rio De Janeiro – Disgustingly sweet when I first put it on, but I grew fond of it throughout the day. A gentle scent, good for summer. Doesn’t last very long, though. For that reason and because I need to be more selective, it’s coming off the list.
- Marc Jacobs Decadence
- Marc Jacobs Daisy
- Marc Jacobs Daisy Dream
- Marc Jacobs Daisy Eau So Fresh
- Miss Dior Blooming Bouquet – When I closed my eyes and smelled this one for the first time, I had instant mental images of white tablecloths, crystal chandeliers, a tuxedoed live band, and the word “elegant”. Unfortunately, this scent does not appear to be available in an EDP and did not last very long. It lasted longer than either of the Ralph Lauren scents, however.
- Dior Poison Girl – Awful! It immediately smelled as though I had drenched myself in vanilla, which, despite enjoying the flavor of, have always detested the scent of for being too sickeningly sweet. It was fairly long-lasting, too.
- Dior J’Adore – I thought I liked the smell, but apparently ylang-ylang doesn’t work with my body chemistry somehow. I had the same issue with Victoria’s Endless Love–I loved the scent, but on me it kind of smells like piss. I mean, literally, I got hints of something urine-y mixed with something chemical-y.
- Dior J’Adore Eau Lumiere – This was pretty long-lasting for an EDT, and not unpleasant. I can’t say there was anything particularly special about it, though. No oomph.
- Miss Dior
- Coach – Ever-so-slightly too sweet for me. Must be the raspberries. It wasn’t overbearing, but with the size of the list I’m trying to narrow down, even slightly too sweet is too much.
- Chanel Chance
- Chanel Coco Mademoiselle – This one is making the finalists list. It strikes me as a good spring smell. I had visions of lying in soft grass, staring at puffy white clouds and feeling a light breeze on my face. I imagined being at a Renaissance Faire. It lasted most of the day. Also, I’d be lying if I said the marketing of smelling like the British Natalie Portman wasn’t working on me somewhat.
- Chanel Eau Tendre – It was a pleasing smell, but I guess I would just say it was nothing special to me. Not bad, but I’ve tried other things that stood out to me a lot more. Long-lasting, though.
- My Burberry
- Paco Rabanne Olympea – This is probably the longest-lasting sample I’ve tried so far, and fortunately I liked it. It had an unusual salty scent and was almost, but not quite, masculine. Very earthy, which I seem to dig.
- Paco Rabanne Olympea Intense – Hated it. Also long-lasting, but it had a disgusting vanilla scent, mixed with pepper.
- Yves Saint Laurent Black Opium
- Elizabeth Arden Untold
- Elizabeth Arden Untold Absolu
- Modern Muse Le Rouge
- Vince Camuto Capri – I really liked this one. It was calming and lasted most of the day. It described itself as a “cool breeze off the Mediterranean Sea”, and I felt like I could visualize that when I smelled it.
- Thierry Mugler Alien – I thought I would like this one seeing as it was made up of pretty much all things I enjoy, but maybe I just didn’t like the way they went together? Something about it was too strong and off-putting, and the thought that crossed my mind was that it was just too “adult” for me somehow. Long-lasting, though. I won’t be trying it again, for sure.
- Thierry Mugler Angel – I couldn’t stand it. It wasn’t that it smelled bad, but it smelled like something sweet I would like to eat, like a cookie. I don’t want to smell like a cookie.
- Ralph Lauren Romance – I actually really liked the scent, but it only lasted for about an hour. Maybe the concentration was just too low? But whatever the problem was, I can’t choose as a signature scent something that I’m going to have to reapply several times throughout the day. That’s not simple enough for me.
- Ralph Lauren Midnight Romance – Not a fan. It was too sickeningly sweet and also only lasted around an hour (thank goodness).
- Jimmy Choo Illicit – Another one I liked but that didn’t last long enough for me to give it another shot.
- Victoria’s Secret Endless Love – I actually adore this scent. It smells absolutely enchanting right out of the bottle. But for some reason, it just doesn’t smell good on me. So I have to give it a pass.
- Juicy Couture Gold Couture – This barely lasted at all and just really wasn’t my thing.