Oh, boy. Did I have an exciting morning, full of typical, pure family entertainment.
My family, that is. That means something catastrophic involving Psychobrat, her boyfriend (Oz), my dad, racism, family feuds, and of course, the cops!
It all started just before Oz arrived. We were all sitting around here in the living room, I doing homework, everyone else doing whatever (I wasn’t paying much attention to the world outside of homework). And then the doorbell rang. It was a woman who apparently lived down the street.
Seeing that the woman was a POC, and that Psychobrat was in the room, I knew this was going to be good. I immediately turned off my interview, which was playing into my headphones, and acted like I wasn’t paying attention, while taking in the whole thing.
The exchange between my father and the woman at the door was about Oz himself, who pulled up on the street next to our house and just sat there. Apparently he had taken the circle that our house sits on at much too quickly a pace and had nearly hit her. The first thing she said was, “Is that your son in the blue truck?” My dad told her he wasn’t, and she explained the situation, and he said he would talk to Oz, which didn’t seem to quite cut it. So he asked her what she would like him to do, and she responded with, “I should have gotten my husband to come and talk to you. This is just unacceptable,” and started walking away. He stood there and was just calling after her, “What do you want me to do? He isn’t my son,” as she walked up behind his truck and wrote down his license plate number. Then she continued walking away and he was just calling, “What do you want me to do? Ma’am? What is your name? Where do you live?” because, as she had explained that she intended to call the cops and file a report, he wanted to know who she was. She didn’t answer him and just went home.
Obviously, the woman was a complete bitch. But what ensued as soon as Oz walked in the door and explained his side of the story (that he had taken the curve at 15 MPH and that she had just been sitting there in the middle of the road) was a bitchfest among my dad and Psychobrat about black people as a whole.
I am perfectly aware how unwise it is to argue with either my dad or Psychobrat, so normally I don’t bother. This morning, I just couldn’t take it. After about 5 minutes of, “They all do this and I can’t stand how they all do that,” and I won’t go into detail about it…but I snapped. I just started yelling at them about how it isn’t all of them, that the two of them are just racist, and the definition of “prejudice”, and that they make me sick, and yada yada yada. My mom tried to stand up for me in there, making it clear that she was on my side, reiterating the definitions of generalization and hatred, and Psychobrat started denying that she had said anything about “all black people”, which was ludicrous, as she’d just been bitching about them a few minutes before.
After I had had my say, I realized what a mistake it was. Of course, I was the one in the wrong. There’s nothing indecent about hating a group of people, or of categorizing them all into a group and saying that because statistics say this and because certain ones do that, that they’re all the same. No; in the opinions of my sister and my dad, I’m the dumbass. I announced that I wanted nothing more to do with the conversation and went back to my homework, still catching snippets here and there.
At one point, Psychobrat suggested that she and Oz move to Australia, where there were no black people.
My mom interrupted with, “There are Aborigines in Australia [dumbass].” (She didn’t say, “dumbass,” but I know she had to have been thinking it.)
Psychobrat responded to that by informing us all that Aborigines are not black people. At this point, I blew my cover by snickering quite loudly.
My mom took Psychobrat and Oz out shopping, and I, in the midst of my homework, was bombarded with questions and comments from my dad. Finally, I just yelled at him, “I already told you I don’t want to have this conversation! I am in the middle of homework that is going to take me hours and I’m sorry I said anything! Next time, I won’t! I’m an idiot for ever bothering to open my mouth around you!”
I love how he responded to this with, “That’s right,” and a triumphant little laugh.
The doorbell rings, and it’s the cops. My dad goes outside to talk to them for a while, and they file their report, and then he takes my brother shopping. And it’s just Milo and me home (Milo has emerged from his bedroom, now that he knows the initial storm is over.) I tell Milo the whole story, and we have a good laugh about it, so I calm down some.
Then the doorbell rings again. I knew before opening it that it was the woman’s husband.
I didn’t know what to do with the stupid dog, so I picked it up and put it in the kitchen, hoping it would get the idea not to go and attack whoever was on the other side of the door. It didn’t (stupid Falkor). So I pushed it out of the way, opened the door a little wider, and stepped outside.
The guy said, “I need to speak to the boy who drives the blue pickup truck.”
I said, “He’s not here right now.”
He said, “Is he your brother?”
“No,” I said. My dad had explained this to his wife. He’s no relation to us. Apparently, they hadn’t believed us. I chose not to be particularly friendly with this man.
“So where is he now?” he said.
“He’s out with my parents.”
Milo, at this moment, was on the phone in the kitchen. The guy looked in the window and said, “That’s him, isn’t it? Doesn’t he drive the blue pickup truck?”
“No,” I said coolly. “He drives a different car.”
“Well, do you know when he’ll be back?”
“No,” I said.
“Well, you tell him when he gets back that I’ll be coming back to talk to him.”
“Okay. Have a nice day,” I said.
He walked away without a word.
More on this after the husband comes back.
Updated perfume list:
- Versace Bright Crystal
- Calvin Klein Euphoria
- Calvin Klein Reveal – I liked this one a lot. It was woodsy and warm, with pepper kind of shining through. It has great lasting power, too! I still had hints of it at the end of the night.
- Lancome La Vie Est Belle – Another finalist. I believe this lasted longer than any other scent I’ve tried so far. I can’t describe what I like about it, but I can’t get enough of it.
- Jo Malone London Mimosa & Cardamom
- Michael Kors Sexy Amber – No, I don’t like this at all. I thought I did but it smells awful on me! Medium lasting power.
- Michael Kors 24K Brilliant Gold
- Michael Kors Glam Jasmine
- Michael Kors Sexy Rio De Janeiro – Disgustingly sweet when I first put it on, but I grew fond of it throughout the day. A gentle scent, good for summer. Doesn’t last very long, though. For that reason and because I need to be more selective, it’s coming off the list.
- Marc Jacobs Decadence
- Marc Jacobs Daisy
- Marc Jacobs Daisy Dream
- Marc Jacobs Daisy Eau So Fresh
- Miss Dior Blooming Bouquet – When I closed my eyes and smelled this one for the first time, I had instant mental images of white tablecloths, crystal chandeliers, a tuxedoed live band, and the word “elegant”. Unfortunately, this scent does not appear to be available in an EDP and did not last very long. It lasted longer than either of the Ralph Lauren scents, however.
- Dior Poison Girl – Awful! It immediately smelled as though I had drenched myself in vanilla, which, despite enjoying the flavor of, have always detested the scent of for being too sickeningly sweet. It was fairly long-lasting, too.
- Miss Dior Eau de Toilette
- Miss Dior Eau de Parfum
- Chanel Chance
- Chanel Coco Mademoiselle – This one is making the finalists list. It strikes me as a good spring smell. I had visions of lying in soft grass, staring at puffy white clouds and feeling a light breeze on my face. I imagined being at a Renaissance Faire. It lasted most of the day. Also, I’d be lying if I said the marketing of smelling like the British Natalie Portman wasn’t working on me somewhat.
- Chanel Eau Tendre – It was a pleasing smell, but I guess I would just say it was nothing special to me. Not bad, but I’ve tried other things that stood out to me a lot more. Long-lasting, though.
- My Burberry
- Paco Rabanne Olympea – This is probably the longest-lasting sample I’ve tried so far, and fortunately I liked it. It had an unusual salty scent and was almost, but not quite, masculine. Very earthy, which I seem to dig.
- Paco Rabanne Olympea Intense – Hated it. Also long-lasting, but it had a disgusting vanilla scent, mixed with pepper.
- Yves Saint Laurent Black Opium
- Elizabeth Arden Untold
- Elizabeth Arden Untold Absolu
- Modern Muse Le Rouge
- Vince Camuto Capri – I really liked this one. It was calming and lasted most of the day. It described itself as a “cool breeze off the Mediterranean Sea”, and I felt like I could visualize that when I smelled it.
- Thierry Mugler Alien – I thought I would like this one seeing as it was made up of pretty much all things I enjoy, but maybe I just didn’t like the way they went together? Something about it was too strong and off-putting, and the thought that crossed my mind was that it was just too “adult” for me somehow. Long-lasting, though. I won’t be trying it again, for sure.
- Thierry Mugler Angel – I couldn’t stand it. It wasn’t that it smelled bad, but it smelled like something sweet I would like to eat, like a cookie. I don’t want to smell like a cookie.
- Ralph Lauren Romance – I actually really liked the scent, but it only lasted for about an hour. Maybe the concentration was just too low? But whatever the problem was, I can’t choose as a signature scent something that I’m going to have to reapply several times throughout the day. That’s not simple enough for me.
- Ralph Lauren Midnight Romance – Not a fan. It was too sickeningly sweet and also only lasted around an hour (thank goodness).
- Jimmy Choo Illicit – Another one I liked but that didn’t last long enough for me to give it another shot.
- Victoria’s Secret Endless Love – I actually adore this scent. It smells absolutely enchanting right out of the bottle. But for some reason, it just doesn’t smell good on me. So I have to give it a pass.
- Juicy Couture Gold Couture – This barely lasted at all and just really wasn’t my thing.