I like Thursdays a lot; these are generally good days for me. This one was no exception.
I got to watch TV with Milo tonight and I made him laugh—hard—when I galloped in, banging together my two ‘alves of a coconut (they were not empty). I made him laugh much tonight, and that is always excellent.
And now let me explain just how I came to have two ‘alves of a coconut to bang together tonight; it has everything to do with why the rest of the day was so great.
Well, as with many stories with fabulous endings, it must begin on a sad note. Bryan was fired from work yesterday. This is devastating, because I love all of my work buddies!
What happened was this: Bryan had just clocked out yesterday, and came to ask Lisa a question about the new uniforms, as he had not received one yet. Tinny and I were standing nearby, cleaning the sneezeguards.
Dann (big boss Dann) marched up to Bryan and said, “Young man, do you know who I am?”
There was the slightest of hesitations. Bryan stared at some imperceptible spot on the ground before saying, “Yes, sir,” to his shoes.
“Did I just ask you to do something?” Dann said.
Bryan still stared at the ground. Tinny and I stared hard at the sneezeguards. Bryan said, “Yes, sir,” again to his shoes, which were probably completely befuddled at being addressed in this manner. (It was obvious to us; Bryan was trying not to laugh, and he was making it bloody difficult for us not to do the same.)
“Did you do it?” Dann demanded.
“No, sir,” Bryan said, once more to his shoes, prompting Dann to launch into a speech about writing him up. As Bryan explained later, what had started it all was that he had been having a conversation with another worker, just after clocking out, and Dann had approached him to say that he could not consort with workers when he is off the clock, as it distracts us from our work.
Upon our arrival today, we were informed that Bryan had been fired.
The really great thing about this is that he can now come into the cafeteria whenever he pleases, consort with whomever he wants, and not suffer a single penalty for it. He’s not a worker anymore. They can’t do anything to him.
His plan is to come and hang out in the cafeteria whenever he has free time. As he does not have a car to get a job off-campus, and cannot now get one anywhere on, free time is something that he will be having a lot of.
He spent all of dinner in the café tonight. When I first spotted him, way across the room, talking to Chrissy, I summoned Dennis, and asked him to convey a very important message for me.
“Dennis,” I said, with a look of utmost seriousness on my face, “would you please go over there and tell that boy that he is distracting me from my work, and I demand that he stop immediately?”
Dennis happily followed through, and I looked up to see him and Bryan flashing me thumbs-up and huge grins, which I returned.
It is Bryan’s intention to pass out buttons which read, “SAVE
After we were finished cleaning up, Tinny and I clocked out at our usual time, to avoid suspicion, before joining in the jubilee that the other workers were throwing.
It was an unconventional party, of sorts; it mainly involved galloping around and banging together the coconut ‘alves (these coconuts were left over from Hawaiian Night, about five months ago)…and oh, did we ever gallop, and oh, did we bang…and Dennis’s puppet shows of varying design. He first drew puppets on his hands, and then we crafted puppets of straws and people cut out of FolioWeekly, and drawn on and taped and stapled together in odd ways. We had Dann the pirate, and Scot the she-man, and Stevie the masculine whore-midget, and Bianca the short, bubble-butt girl.
Dennis performed puppet shows, and we took turns gallivanting across the café whilst minstrels clapped coconuts behind us…and I had the most fun I have ever had at work in my entire life. Tinny and I didn’t end up leaving until an hour later than we normally do.
I love my job.