About my dream from last night. I don’t know how I got here…but I was at this huge summer camp that was full–and I mean full–of zombies. You couldn’t walk anywhere without bumping into some of them. A lot of them seemed to be students from school who I haven’t seen in a while…like, I kept walking past this one spot where a girl I recognized was standing, and she was a zombie (except that she didn’t seem changed a whole lot from who she’d been before)…and she kept asking for my hat. And I wouldn’t give it to her.
I kept walking through all the zombies, growing increasingly nervous, thinking one of them was bound to notice me eventually…and then I saw T-1000. Because I was apparently stupid in this dream, I headed in that direction, without thinking about the obvious fact that T-1000 would be killing whatever actual humans were left, even if he did manage to take out some zombies, as well. So I got to, like, touching distance from T-1000, and I was just watching him mutilate people left and right (and they were all becoming zombies)…and then he turned and looked at me. So I ran. Okay, and I know it’s really stupid to try and outrun a Terminator…so then I just threw him a decoy. Milo’s ex happened to be standing right there…so I threw her into T-1000 and kept on running. I don’t know if she was still alive or already a zombie by that point, but I figured she was worth sacrificing to the…um…cause.
So then I jumped onto a bus. I think it was the end of the week at camp, and all of these people were supposed to be going home, so I ran to the middle of the bus and just collapsed…but then I noticed that all the people around me on the bus were zombies. I hadn’t expected any of them to be on the bus. But they were. So I looked down to the front, and the driver herself was not a zombie…but for some reason she was Jennifer Lawrence. I made eye contact with her, noticed in the mirror above her that the zombies seemed to be showing us more and more interest…and said, “Um…can I have a word with you?”
We step off the bus, and I say, “What the hell are you doing driving zombies around!?” She says, “Wouldn’t you, if it was the only way you knew of to escape from this madness?” So I said, “Yeah. Good point.” And she started to say something else, but I never found out what that was, because at that moment, a bunch of the zombies from the bus jumped out and pounced on her. And I ran. Harder and faster than I had run from T-1000, because he was at least hot. I did not want to be eaten by zombies.
So now I’m way on the other side of the camp, and I of course have to rest, and I just fall over, and I’m panting…and I look up, and that one girl from school says, “I still like your hat.”
I freeze–she’s at a dangerously close proximity to me (like, right over me and I’m lying on the ground)–so I grudgingly, slowly give her my hat–taking the one she has on her head, this little black beret-type-thing, and putting it on my head–and she just stares at me as I remember The Walking Dead , and the only way to get through a whole humongous group of zombies like that: Pretend to be one.
So I make myself look as zombiful as possible, and I’m just walking…really…really…s-l-o-w-l-y…………and somehow, eventually, I finally make it back to the buses…and I climb back onto Jennifer Lawrence’s bus, expecting it to be empty this time, as all the zombies had jumped off to snack on her, and once I step onto the bus I practically fly all the way to the back of it so I can just rest for a while, hopefully without being noticed…and then I realize that I am lying across not one, but several laps.
This jolting realization causes me to, again, leap up into the air as though I can fly, and I’ve sort of jumped back several seats, and fall into another one, where I realize once again I am sitting on another lap…and I jump up again…and there are people all around me, even more than there had been the first time…but after my initial panic, I realize that these aren’t zombies–it’s a bus full of soldiers (who all happen to be super-hot)!
So, they’re all just staring at me oddly, obviously wondering what had caused my little freak-out…and I said, “You’re not zombies?” (just to clarify, you know) and they look at each other, confused, and sort of laugh, and they’re like, “Uhh…no…?”
I look out the bus windows, and the zombies are still out there, all walking around aimlessly…nothing’s changed…and then I look at them as if they’re insane, and say, “Haven’t you noticed the zombies? How did you get here, anyway? What are you doing here?”
They tell me they’ve been sent to kill some sort of supersoldier from the future, but, not finding one, just a bunch of drunk people, they packed up their weapons and got back on the bus, and were now just waiting for the driver, and was that me?
I stared at them in shock for a few moments and said, “You have…weapons?”
They did; but all of the weapons were packed up and disassembled, in the compartments on the side of the bus.
“Well…umm…I’m your driver…” I said, thinking to myself that I would figure out how to actually drive the bus when it came to that, “…and, uh…you all…need to be armed. I’ll open the compartments there, and you all get your weapons as quickly as possible.”
So I get out by myself and somehow open the side things, and they follow me out and get all their weapons and everything, and I tell them to just start shooting anything that movies…and they were taking out zombies left and right, and then T-1000, perhaps drawn by the sound of the firearms, just showed up, looking really hot, too, and they all immediately stopped shooting and turned to look at him.
“Um…guys?” I said, cautiously, expecting T-1000 to start running at us any second. “He’s not that easy to kill…in fact, I don’t really think you can kill him…. I’m going to start the bus…and you all…keep your weapons out…and get on….”
I don’t know why they were listening to me–as the driver, I guess I just outranked them–but they did what I said, keeping the weapons trained on him, and slowly stepping back onto the bus. And then…very slowly, at first, but not for long…T-1000 started to run for the bus…and I was starting up the engine, and then I remembered that I didn’t know how to drive a damned bus…so I started to panic, and then thought, Aw, how hard could it be?… and stepped on the gas and barrelled into a bunch of zombies that were still moving, and then in the direction of the road, wherever that was…and T-1000 latched himself onto the back of the bus and I heard this really loud banging as I imagine he was trying to break in, and I’m freaking out, and the military guys are like, “Damn! You might have been right about this guy!” and I yelled in panic and frustration, “OFCOURSEI’MRIGHTHAVEN’TYOUEVERWATCHEDTHETERMINATOR!?”
I wouldn’t know if we ever got out of that or not, because I woke up. And when I thought about it…this dream was really freaking funny.
I’m afraid my computer is going to restart and I’ll lose all of this, so I’ll go ahead and post it now. Yeah.