Cort and Nicole and some other people all told me I should date. They all seemed to think it would be good for me and that I might actually enjoy it. Okay…so maybe it will, and maybe I will, but let me make one thing clear in case anyone has missed it—I don’t want a relationship. So I asked a guy out. That doesn’t mean anything. Is it supposed to mean something? Now I’m confused. I don’t think I should have done it. Why would I ask someone out if I don’t intend to take it very far? That’s something other people do, not me. Well…maybe he won’t call. Maybe he really was too shy to say no, or maybe like Brandon said, he’ll feel stupid if he does call, or…something. I don’t know…I was close to tears after I did it, though. I kept having to walk away from the line and eat ice so no one would notice and so I wouldn’t break down. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.
I don’t want to date. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking. So if he ever calls, yeah, I’ll go out with him, but just once. And I’m not doing this again. I almost feel like I forced myself into it because everyone else wanted me to. As I’ve said constantly, I like being single. So single I shall remain.
Got to give my kudzu speech tomorrow. I don’t know how that’s going to go. Guess I’ll worry about it when I get up there.
Milo looked so happy to see me when I walked in the door after work tonight…it was nice. It was really nice. Not that he ever looks displeased to see me, but tonight it just seemed like he was waiting for me or something. Like, his eyes lit up when I walked in the door.
