Conversation at work yesterday:
Me: Hot funk, cool punk, even if it’s old junk, it’s still rock and roll to me.
Wendy: Well, everything’s always rock and roll to you already because you’re always going like this– *bounces around hyperactive-ly*.
Jeez, this day is going by extremely S-L-O-W-L-Y. I still have 35 minutes before I can get out of here. I need a nap.
Milo is out with Kara again…I know I am not supposed to worry about them. I told him I wouldn’t. Or at least, that I would try not to. And yet, here I am, worrying as usual. I finally figured out what my problem is with the whole thing. Two and a half years ago, four months before he moved to Maine, I asked him out, and he told me he did not want a relationship with me for a number of reasons–he was just getting over his relationship with Janey, and he was moving in four months, so he didn’t want something that was going to last. And then a month later, he was dating the ex, who just sort of came out of nowhere. Everyone told me he was such a dick for doing that, but I still always stuck by him, insisting that there had to be some good reason for it. And now that we are in this same situation again, I have finally come up with the good reason.
Like he said, he didn’t want a long-term relationship; and he and the ex never intended to last more than those last three months. It just sort of happened…what started out as three months ended up being two years, and nobody planned for that–it just happened.
So now, if he were to start dating Kara, even though he says he does not want a long-term relationship right now…if all they did was go on a few dates…what’s to say it wouldn’t end up being something long-term like with the ex?
Why do I always over-analyze everything? Wait…I think I know the answer to that. I suppose it is for the same reason that I am an eternal pessimist–so that something truly dreadful never takes me by surprise. So to save myself the emotional destruction of a surprise attack, I choose to worry constantly instead. Lovely.
…It does help to write it all out, though. It’s very therapeutic.
