“There is nothing to fear but fear itself.”

For some reason, this was the title of Napoleon’s meeting this morning.  (That’s my new boss.  He thinks he can fill Wayne’s shoes.  There’s no way.)  I don’t remember discussing fear at all–I didn’t hear the word brought up…so what was the meaning of that?  It’s just a bit creepy.  Well, anyway….

I cannot believe I still haven’t done it.  I finally gave myself permission–I’ve wanted to do it for the longest time–and now that I am able to at last, I can’t do it.  There is no excuse for it.  I don’t have some sort of instinct telling me not to do it now…everyone who knows the situation agrees that now would be a good time…even my fortune cookies are telling me to do it.  For crying out loud.  There is simply no excuse!  I keep saying it’s my guilty conscience, that I don’t want to place the burden of knowing on him….  Honestly, after all this time, I think I may just have to accept the fact that I am chicken.

…Nobody calls me chicken.

If I could have done it a long time ago, I would have.  I’ve wanted to do it since before he even moved to Maine!  There have been innumerable times since then that I have been alone with him that I would have done it if not for the fact that it would have been exceedingly selfish of me.  I think I have exercised the utmost self-control and courage over the past two and a half years in not telling him….

So why can’t I do it now?  What is stopping me?  What?

All I know is, it’s going to happen, and soon.


Author: GinnyJones

I was born on 3/5/97 in this horrible small town in southern Virginia. Now I live in Jacksonville, Florida and I am here to tell you about my life--my friends, my family, love, school, work, extra-curriculars--minus specifics, of course. What I Do: I'm in school full-time getting my AA. I used to work part-time as the secretary for a small property management business; now I work in a university cafeteria, which is a major improvement! It's harder work, but the people make up for it. Things I Like: Harrison Ford, Harry Potter, Doctor Who, Sherlock, Emmy Rossum, Shameless (US), Being Human (UK & US), The Walking Dead, Once Upon A Time, Superman, comic conventions, cosplay...I could go on. But I won't. Cast of Characters: - Mom and Dad: my parents - Sister/Psychobrat: my younger sister - Brother: my even younger brother - Cortney and Nicole: my best friends - Milo: the guy I love - Tinny: my work friend - Kristen: friend from school - Katie: friend from school - Jenna and Kara: sister friends - The Ex: Milo's evil ex

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