Provocation

So I walk in the door tonight, it’s 10:20, nobody’s home but Sister.  Of course she was on the internet–when is she not when she’s home?  Last night she kicked me off the computer at 10 because she had homework.  I’d been intending to stay on for another 20 minutes, perhaps, because I had to be up early.  So I assumed she’d be using it for a few minutes and then would get off again, and I was sitting in a chair nearby and I said, “Well hurry up” and she said, “It’s going to take a couple hours”.  This is the point when I went to bed.  So tonight when I came home, of course the dishes still have not been done…honestly, how does she expect to make any money this way?  So I said, “I’m getting online” and she said, “I JUST GOT ON!!!!!!” and I said, “You were on it all night last night!” and she said, “DOING HOMEWORK!!!!!!!” and then a lot of babbling that essentially led to the brilliantly observed, “Because I was doing homework last night, which does not count as free time, I get to spend my free time on the computer tonight, even though it means I get to kick everyone else off for the second night in a row”.

I said, “Nice job on the kitchen…once again.”

“I JUST GOT HOME!!!!!!!  GOD!!!!!!!  WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO BE SUCH A BITCH!?!???!?!?!?!?!?!”

I then went into my bedroom, changed into my pajamas, came back out and said simply, “Apparently, you think you can have the last word in anything…but you’ll find out very soon how wrong you are.”

This just to mess with her head.

Then later, I banged on her wall, imitating her the way she always gets when somebody else is online when she wants to be, and screamed obnoxiously, “HURRY UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

She evidently did not realize that this was in jest (not that I am surprised), because she later banged back on the wall and screamed, “I’M OFF!!!!!!!!!!” which really struck me as more genuine anger than sarcasm.

It’s so much fun to screw with her!

In other news, I went to the Creepy House by myself tonight.  I’ve never been by myself before.  That was awesome.  I just love to give myself a rush like that.  It was a little after 10, rainy…perfect weather.

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I had a GREAT day today!

It was excellent.  Today was my last day of classes and I am now officially on summer break!  I’m pretty sure I aced my film test (AND my math test yesterday), and my favorite teacher gave us a 99 on our script.  (Haha–us.  Cortney and I wrote it together but she was not even in this class.)  I thought about saying, “Hey, there’s a point missing here”, but decided not to test my luck.  I can sleep in as late as I want tomorrow.  Ah, bliss.  Life is great.  No–life is wonderful!

I also got to try sushi today for the first time ever and it was really good.

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Ch-Ch-Changes!

You may have noticed I’ve made some changes around this place.  When I set it up I hadn’t quite decided what I wanted to call it yet, or what fake name I wanted to use to limit the possibility of discovery by certain individuals.  Henceforth (although the real name is still there in cartoons and I’m sure you’ll see it here and there), I shall assume the name of one of my own characters from a book I have not yet written:  Virginia “Ginny” Jones.  She’s pretty cool.  One day, perhaps, you’ll get to meet her.

I’ve also changed my URL to match my new title.  The old one was kind of a temporary placeholder so I could still write while I made up my mind what to call it.

I really like blue roses a lot.  Even though they don’t actually exist.  Roses are my favorite flowers and blue is my favorite color, and because they don’t really grow in nature, they are said to represent things like hope, true love, and achieving the impossible.  A Holy Grail of sorts.

I heard from the photographer today!  We’re supposed to meet up this weekend to go shoot a Breakfast At Tiffany’s sort of look in an historic part of town.  Sounds like fun!

Just wanted to give credit for my new header image.

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The Jax Diaries

Milo and I went to World of Nations yesterday.  I had never even heard of this celebration until our meeting on Friday. It’s held only in Jacksonville and is apparently a lot like going to EPCOT (which I haven’t been to since I was a toddler).  There were tents from many different countries where you could buy food and trinkets and art pieces.  We had piña coladas (which I had never had before–super tasty!) and then shared lots of yummy food we didn’t know the name of from Cuba.  I bought some knit flower earrings made by handicapped children in Syria.

The event was held at Metropolitan Park, which Milo and I had never been to before, and it must have one of the only hills in Jacksonville!  I wish I had known about this sooner.  I really do miss hills.  Anything to break up the boring Florida landscape.  The view of the St. Johns River was very nice, too.  I really wanted to kiss him while we were standing there looking out at the clouds, away from all the people.  I maintained my self-control, though.

I’m just going to throw this out there.  Jacksonville is usually pretty boring.  I know it’s where Twilight is set and all (*rolls eyes*) because the author is from here, but it looks nothing like it does in those movies (which, to be fair, I only watched like half an hour of before deciding I didn’t want to waste any more of my life on them).  I only forced myself through the first book because Jenna said it was unfair of me to criticize it until I had read it.

Anyway.  Mom and I went to see The Wiz at the Alhambra on Friday night.  We shared a table with this photographer and his wife, and they asked me if I had ever considered doing any modeling.  Certainly no one had never asked me that before!  It sounds super fun but I told them I know exactly nothing about how to tame my Princess Diaries-esque mane or makeup or anything like that.  See photo for evidence of what happens when I just step out of the shower, blow-dry, and comb:

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^^^That mop has been the bane of my existence my whole life.  It was one of the uncontrollable reasons why almost no one would speak to me for my whole childhood until we left Virginia.

They said that that wouldn’t matter and she could help me with those things during the shoot.  Well, I’m not sure what they see in me, but if they can make me actually look pretty then I’m all for it!  It sounds like it would be a lot of fun.  I gave them my number and they said they would call sometime this week about setting everything up!

Success!

So I did my monologue.  Not bad at all.  I even came up with a bit while I was in the middle of it and it worked so I kept it going.  Another class finished, two to go.  I’ve got nothing to do for the rest of the day, think I’m just going to chill at home.  Learning new stuff on the piano–or trying to–for some reason, as much as I practice, I can’t seem to get anything perfected on my own…sometimes I really want to take lessons again.  Anyway.  Nothing’s happening right now, just wanted to follow-up to my last entry.

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NERVES!

I probably should be working on my monologue right now.  Every time I pick it up, though, I get completely stressed out.  With good reason, I suppose, since I have to perform in about ten hours and I’m not even sure if it’s memorized yet.  I think it is, but I have no blocking down.  I will literally be making it up as I go…I just hope I can remember my lines as I’m making it up.  I’m going to have to go in and look like I’ve known what set pieces I’d be using for several days, but I will be picking them out while setting them up.

I am glad that this class will be completely over in exactly twelve hours.

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Beware the Ides of March!

I got stabbed in the back on the Ides of March.  This person, Jenna, who had been my friend for three and a half years, decided to take my life into her own hands.  Some back story, since this blog is still pretty new.  I talk about Milo a lot.  I have been in love with Milo for about two and a half years now.  It is entirely unrequited, but he’s also one of my closest friends, so I don’t want to lose him.  And he just so happens to live at our house.  I’ve always kept my feelings to myself.  I didn’t want him to know until I felt the time was right–if that time ever came.

But Jenna has a crush on Milo, too.  And Jenna, whom I trusted completely, decided to go to him on the Ides of March, behind my back, and ask him how he feels about me.  After receiving her answer (“We’re just friends”), she called me and said, “He doesn’t like you that way.  Why don’t you just move on already and give someone else a chance with him?” in the coldest and judgiest voice you could imagine.

Things have been rocky with Jenna lately.  I’m trying to give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she didn’t act maliciously.  Even so, I can’t really trust her anymore like I could.

Anyway.  Last night I dreamt that Milo started dating Jenna’s sister, Kara.  I like Kara a lot, but apparently he likes her more than that, and I try not to worry about it because he isn’t mine to worry about.

Today Milo and I went to the Timucuan Preserve just to walk around, and he said, “So, I’ve had some very strange dreams lately”, and I, remembering my own from last night, said, “Yes, my dreams are almost always strange….”

He said, “Last night I dreamt I was dating Kara.”

I made no response.

He continued, “And Jenna was just…MEAN in this dream…we didn’t understand why she was so mean…but anyway, Kara and I were dating.  I don’t know why.  We just were.  That was interesting.”

“I’m sure it was.”

I’m not sure what was said after that.  I know I didn’t say anything.  He kept talking about the dream, but I wasn’t listening at this point because I was trying to think of something else because this whole thing with the sisters is really bothering me, through no fault of Kara’s, and very little fault of Jenna’s.  It’s my fault, I suppose.

I didn’t tell Milo about the obvious sharing of brain waves that we experienced last night.  I thought it wise not to say anything about a dream involving him and dating.

I wish I could just tell him how I feel and magically change our situation so that he was in love with me too.  But that doesn’t happen.  You can’t make someone fall in love with you by simply telling them you are in love with them.  Actually, there is nothing you can do to make a person fall in love with you.  As many times as I have gone over and over this in my head, I can come up with no strategy, because it just is not possible.1601340_10100766042272192_1453329640_n